Some people commented on “random question about you” threads that some of these questions were too personnal or didn’t feel comfortable answering those (understandable and not crticizing any og it here).
I propose down there something focused towards sharing or just getting off your chest a video game related trauma that you experienced, and in order to clarify what i mean by that -let’s settle some boundaries and safe words here you dastardly loveable degenerates- I’ll go first.
I was 9-10 years old if I remember correctly and I had inserted into my fat christmas giftof a PS2 the demo disc from the official Playstation Magazine, it was my second demo disc and on it was the demo of MGS2 and the first part of the tanker playable in full. It ended once you deactivated the semtex infrared sensors just before the obligatory shooting section in the deck 2 starboard section.
I played it times and times again, somtimes just fooling around in the crew’s lounge bar with the destructible glasses and bottles (icecubes melted once the bucket that held them was shot, in a 2001 game) or trying to outsmart the game by staying outside and waiting for the tanker to finally leave the city’s shorelines, which never happened obviously. Back in the crew’s lounge there is only one way down is starboard, for now the port way entry is blocked but a soldier is guarding it nonetheless while facing the wall at the bottom of a staircase, he was looking for trouble and ready to rumble there are no other explanations here.
So there I was, unaware that I was about to create a lasting memory that haunted me for quite some time due to the realism of the situation and the scene that unfolded (damn you Kojima !)
After putting the first boss (Olga) to sleep and taking her gun with real ammo unlike the tranquilizer we had to do with until now I went back and gun blazing cleaned the bridge and quarters of any and all soldiers, before being gunned down by heavily reinforced soldiers triggered by the alarm. With my new gun I once went down say hi to my oblivious GRU soldier facing the wall (listening to some music ? or was he the one with poor body hygiene and a swarm of flies around him ? Couldn’t tell now but I remember pointing your gun at him and hearing David Hayter’s FREEZE ! and the soliders usually answering with a “mohhh” I this particular soldier when under the threat of a gun pulled on him shaked his body to relieve himself of some ration, other had ammo and you had to take them by surprise this way to get their dog tags to unlock goodies.
Anyway I wanted to experiment once again with the demo, mezmerized at this point with every time I played it discovering something new. I went from the GameBoy Color to the PS2 straight away, no smooth transition. So I wanted to test their health and physical resistance : A headshot is fatal, shot in the legs and they’ll die, but what about the arms and hands ? I aim, shot one bullet in his left hand. He screamed, but stayed with both his arms raised (hostage like) although the left one was a lump shaking that he couldn’t hold high anymore.
Panicked, I want to put him out of his misery right away but still trying to end my experience I hope, pray and shoot his right hand hoping he will fall down.
Nope.
This brave soldier stayed up, both hands shot and barely able to maintain them up, panting, but willing to stand until the end.
The traumatizing part ? His noises and screams imprinted into my brain I jumped on my console and reseted it, hoping it would have no memory since there wasn’t an autosave at this point in the demo, turned off and on again my console and sweating with tears of remorse and disgust on the verge of rolling down my young cheeks I booted up the demo once again and speedran it down to him, somehow relieved to see him alive and unaware of what had transpired. I sleep darted him and wished him some good and peaceful dreams and turned off the console.
Now I killed dozens of soldiers in my days with the demo, but this particular encounter left a mark, I know he didn’t exist, and that I did nothing wrong but this interaction in its entirety was fucking violent for my then-young and blissfully naive and innocent mind. Grew up to love the MGS series and a ton of games, more violent, brutal and gore than this scene ever was, and never felt anything so disturbingly strong while taking down foes or checking if friendly fire is on or not.
And there it is, what I call my vg-related traumatizing experience. If you feel like sharing (even though we are all anonymous here we are gathered on this site because of our love for Subverse and StudioFow) similar gaming related intense memories -don’t have to be a scarring or traumatizing one necessarily- feel free to engage in this thread.
We are here on the discuss.studiofow, but we have hearts, feelings and ideas worth sharing wouldn’t you agree you smut loving / video games enthusiasts / pre-marital hand-holding apologists scumbags ? Be a man or a woman, there are transcending interests that bind us and make us feel less isolated in these covid-ridden months ; hopefully summer is upon us, many countries are lifting curfews and restrictions and if I made grammar or syntaxic mistakes my apologies, I’m French and it’s raining today.
your post made me realize something : as you mentioned maybe trauma is too strong of a word in Englsih, myself being French it might have a different, lighter meaning ? Maybe a mental breaking gut wrenching self-questioning kind of game related memory, like yours depicts ? I don’t wanted this thread to turn into a kind of disturbing voyeurism convos where you come to jack off to people recollecting and telling a specific vg related memory, hence why I dived in first to clarify the type of content.